Wrote this whole piece as threads on Twitter this June. Needless to say, it went viral. Read it here.

Hi, I am Nisha from “HAHK.” I heard from Anjali and Simran that you guys wanted an update on my life too. Grateful for all the love you all have given us for decades now. I am in my 50s now. Mother of a 27-year-old. We live in Mumbai. I was 21 and Prem was 23 when we got married.

I was raised in a happy home. I got all the attention. My didi (Jiji) was the quiet one. So anytime any guests would come home, I was the one talking, singing, and dancing. Didi would always help Mom in the kitchen. I was pretty. In school and college, I got so much attention.

In all my growing-up years, I don’t remember anything sad. My father would spoil us. We visited Ram Tekri during all our breaks. Our mother would try to discipline us, but for Dad, we were the Queens of the world. Especially me. I somehow believed him.

Though I always had so much male attention, I never fell for anyone, and then Prem entered my life. I was just 20. Remember it was just the early 90s. It was an altogether different India then. Despite our education, we were raised to be good wives.

Prem was so good-looking, came from such a good family, and spoiled me with so much love. He was so gentle and still is. I fell for him. The phone calls, the songs, the car drive everything felt out of a dream. I had the best boyfriend and still the best husband.

Didi’s death was my first brush with reality. It hurt a lot and still does. But that’s life, you learn to live and carry on. My parents never recovered from it. Dad and Mom smiled less and talked even lesser. Who even gets over the death of their child ever?

You know now that I look back at my own marriage, I wonder how naïve I was I did not know whom I was getting married to and my husband was ready to sacrifice it all for the baby. Sacrifice for whom, when no one asked us to sacrifice? It’s so funny how sacrifice came naturally and not standing up for love. Anyways after Tuffy saved our lives, I was finally married to Prem. It was bitter sweet. I missed my sister. I missed her presence in that house. It was always hers first. And with that I started my journey as a wife and also as a mother to ‘Munna.'

My brother-in-law whom I call ‘Bhaiya’ now immersed himself at work. There were many ristas that kept coming and he kept refusing. When you are so rich and just 28, society won’t stop sending Ristas. I immersed myself in being the good wife and the daughter-in-law.

Life went on as usual. Papa retired from work. They permanently shifted to Ram Tekri. But change is the nature of life. That is when Shobna Desai entered our home and so much was going to change post that.

It was the mid-90s, post-liberalization India. Multinationals were entering India. The Govt was pushing for Indian women to education and workplaces through policies. Middle-class girls were shown the dream of Sushmita Sen and Aishwarya Rai.

A man called Shahrukh Khan was telling India about love on the silver screen. One India was like me, I was holding on to everything my parents were. I refused to budge. The other India was like Shobha Desai, who is walking into the world.

Bhaiya met Shobha in a business meeting. She was representing her office. Bhaiya matured a lot after my sister’s death. They developed a friendship and one day he told Kaka that he wanted to marry her. Everyone accepted, but my heart felt a little sad because in my head Bhaiya was my sister’s love. We had a grand wedding at the Taj. Shobha Bhabi was raised by her father as her mother died during childbirth. She was tall and beautiful and very intelligent.

I and my mother were sure she would stop working post-marriage as we were already rich and maybe take care of Munna, but things turned up differently.

She was educated and well-spoken and she became a part of our family and changed the rules. She joined Bhaiya in the office. She was the first woman in our family to go to work and earn. Initially, she started going at 9 am and be back by 2 pm to be with Munna, whom we name “Lav.”

I and my Mom were worried about how she would treat him. She made sure that she took the best care. She hired a full-time Nanny. I also gave birth to a son and we named him “Kush.”

Initially, Bhaiya and Prem were a little uncomfortable with her at work. But she was the smartest of all. She brought new ideas and new projects. She would train Prem on the new presentation which she made. She knew the board will listen to a man more.

Slowly everyone started to listen to her. She became a mentor and a friend to Prem. I saw how hard she worked. She would come back home at 6 or 7 and rush to do homework with Lav. She would take both Lav and Kush out on weekends as they started growing up.

I started resenting her. I was the perfect woman, I always served food to everyone. But she was the one everyone listened to.

Maybe I started to compete with her in my head. I was told a hundred times to let the house help serve us as we ate. But I insisted on standing and serving as everyone ate. Shobha ate too, she would be hungry after a long day’s work.

I cribbed about her to Mom and maybe she would spoil Lav as he was going to Doon for his schooling. I always saw her as the stepmom. In another one year, our son Kush insisted on going to boarding. He was adamant. We let him. I thought he will return in a week. He thrived there.

I would keep going to Ram Tekri, maybe I was going through an identity crisis. Who was I? Prem grew up from the boy who would dance and sing with me. We did dance after marriage too, but work took priority. He ventured into retail and that took all his time.

We fought at times, and he kept telling me to start doing something on my own. I was just stuck in the past.

Then came the 2000s, Bhaiya and Shobha Bhabhi started investing in the IT business and it boomed. Lav and Kush were in Doon, and everyone else was busy building the business. Kaka went to live in the village as that was what he wanted.

I never kept in touch with my friends or made any new ones. Everyone else I knew was aging.

Papa died of a heart attack in 2002, and Mom followed him in 2005. I was devastated. For days I could not sleep or eat. That was when Shobha Bhabhi took me to therapy and she and I came close. She was so lovely, I did not know why I disliked her so much.

We were very privileged; I had nothing to worry about. Shobha Bhabhi sensed my sense of loss of identity. She asked me to join dancing again, something I loved and enjoyed. I joined Bharatnatyam. Dance again gave me a sense of purpose and gave me joy.

Prem was happy to see me happy. Now it’s almost 20 years since that day. I am fully trained and dance across India and abroad too. Lav married two years back and lives in the US. He looks after our IT business there.

Bhaiya and Bhabhi live between India and US. Kaka passed away 5 years back in his sleep at his village. My son is engaged. At present, he lives in Singapore and looks after our business there. Prem and I live in this old grand house. Just that we changed the décor.

I have grown in leaps and bounds. I have hosted dinners for some of the world's most powerful. Sat with dignitaries and movie stars and Presidents and PMs.

But sometimes when I am alone in my house, and fall asleep I still dream of our house where I would just enter and Papa would just come to hug me, Maa would smile with a side glance and Didi would look up with a smile.

Home is that one look when you enter the house, after a brief absence. It has been a great life. But I miss home. I miss my own family and I long for them. Someday I will join them.

I will leave you all now, I have to be a guest at Manish Malhotra’s new summer collection fashion show. Now we are counted as one of India’s top 5 rich families. It has a lot of privileges, but I miss home. Maybe my father the most. That one look I called home.

If my work has made an impact on you and you can buy me a coffee here. This will help me to keep writing and healing more. Thank you.